Red Alert.

Red alerts are synonymous with Panic Attacks.

Some Panic Attacks come directly after putting a large lump sum on something you looked at for 10 minutes and then decided to dedicate a year of your life (and savings) to.

Other Panic Attacks come out of nowhere.  They’re sneaky like that.  One moment you’re sitting on the couch watching a terrible movie *ahem Morning Glory* and the next moment you’re realizing that the ceilings in the apartment you just put a chunk of change down on are actually pretty low…

But then you talk it out with your future roommate and decide, “No.  We liked it.  We’re happy.”

And then you get a text message at 3:34am that reads, “I can’t sleep.  I’m freaking out about the apartment.”  But you don’t get this until you’ve awoken – magically 30 minutes before your alarm clock was supposed to go off  – feeling well rested and at peace with your decision.  And then panic sets in again when…

You realize that the might-as-well-be-a-spiral staircase going up into the apartment is actually quite narrow and even though you asked the current tenant, “How was it moving in?” and he said, “Well you only have to move once…”, you realize that you didn’t actually get an answer.

You realize instead that the only “couch” in the apartment was a futon and there wasn’t a box spring to be seen.  And that the window at the top of the fire escape (and therefore the most logical solution for alternate entry) is, in fact, the narrowest window in the apartment.

Yet despite all of that you say together, “Whatever.  We’ll make it work.”  And continue on your merry way.  Well.  Merry until another panic attack comes along.  And like I said before – those suckers are sneaky.

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