I’ve been on a hiatus. From just about everything. I went to the gym once last week. I blogged once last week. I ate vegetables once last week (but pizza twice in one day). I did not have even one fully productive day at work.
This week is going to be different. I’ve already gone to the gym twice this week (hopefully thrice by the time you read this… assuming you don’t read it between 11:30pm and 7:00am). I will blog at least twice this week. I already ate vegetables three times this week (and no pizza but I am planning on a grilled cheese Wednesday night (tonight for those of you who didn’t read this before I (hopefully) went to the gym)… and have been dreaming about one since yesterday morning). I aim to be at least moderately productive more than one day this week. So far I’m at one.
And yet for all that hiatus, my brain keeps on ticking. I am literally incapable of shutting off my brain. The whole “clear your mind” thing makes me do this:
Fine. That’s not true. But I oftentimes google images for what I want to share and googling “clear you mind” apparently also translates to “put lime rinds on cats’ heads”. No judgment here. (And the whole “judgment” thing is one I will revisit momentarily.) Where I was really going with it can be summed up as “If someone tells me to stop thinking, I immediately think, ‘How does one stop thinking?'”
A few considerations/revelations/realizations I’ve had in the past couple days alone:
1. Butter has an expiration date. I had no idea.
2. Will the Special K diet work for me if I eat nothing but Special K? And when I say “nothing but Special K” I obviously mean “if I eat a box (or more) of Special K each day” (as I may or may not have been known to do). (There were red berries (not be confused with strawberries (although that certainly is what they look like) or any other berry) in the box.)
3. How does one become a professional wedding-goer? This is not the same as a wedding crasher. I will say with total honesty that
I think I rock weddings. Ask Kevin. Or Betsy. Or Cate. Or Carolyn. Or any number of people who have witnessed just how much more friendly and open I get when there’s a white dress and cake involved. Alternatively, you can just take a gander at Mama O and see for yourself.
4. I am my mother. I don’t think I can even say “like my mother” anymore because I have had no fewer than three people tell me, “You’re exactly like your mom” after having spoken with her for no more than three minutes. Ever in their lives.
5. I’d rather be my mother than my father. If only for the fact that Pops has no butt. (No offense, Dear Old Dad.) There are a number of other reasons that I’m happy to be like Mama O, too, but I won’t get into that right now.
6. Why is there a cop car sitting in the school walkway directly across from my apartment?
7. Why is he now searching the school with a flashlight? Can he see me staring at him? And can I be arrested for staring? (This is currently unfolding…) Update: He left. And he didn’t arrest me.
8. There are two ways to spell “judg(e)ment”. Two “e”s refers to a legal ruling. One “e” implies thoughts and opinions. I, for one, pass judgments not judgEments because – believe it or not – I am not in any way, shape, or form connected to the legal world. (Although I may have been if that cop arrested me for staring.)
9. I hate “The Skydiver.” In short, it’s “The Superman” on steroids. I mean at the gym. The one where you lie on your stomach and try to get all of your body (except your stomach) off of the floor. My lower back is so tight I fear I may never walk again. (I may or may not be making premature excuses as to why I shouldn’t go to the gym in the morning.)
10. Will I ever learn to just wash the baking dishes when they’re still wet? Oh wait. I know the answer to this one: NO.
11. Banana bread batter is delicious.
12. What would happen if I stopped eating cheese? I’m fairly certain this has a two part answer: 1) I’d lose three pounds immediately. 2) I’d be immensely unhappy. 3) (Apparently it’s three parts…) I’d start eating (more) chocolate as a substitute.
13. I am reading Atlas Shrugged. This is great because it was one of my New Year’s resolutions (well… the picture was shown as one of them). This is bad because – even though it’s great – it’s one of those books I have to focus on. Which makes me tend to not read at home. And instead watch more TV. Which is, in fact, going against a different resolution.
14. I can’t imagine you’re interested in anything else I have to say right now. But fear not dear readers (Kevin and Mom). I will call you later with more incredible thoughts.
14a. For anyone still checking this blog. You rock my socks. Maybe that should be on here…
15. Knit something other than a scarf. Maybe socks. Or just finish the scarf I started knitting last year. Or the hat from two years ago.
I googled “random” because I wanted another picture on here and this is what I got. Oh my. I should write a post comprised entirely of “random thoughts googled and represented in images” and see how your captions turn out. Genius. Sheer. (Read backward: Sheer. Genius.)
I promise I’m not wasting away here in balmy Beantown. I have been a busy bee. And I plan to show pictures soon.
Gossip Girl (Yes. I just watched that instead of reading more of Atlas Shrugged. Thank goodness for DVR.)